Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Sen. Boxer: "My toilet tissue broke and I touched poo"

Will hold hearings Read more!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Coroner: Chicken Caught in Director's Throat Not Cause of Death

Inquest findings relating to film maker Micheal Moore's death show that it was not the live chicken caught in his throat that killed him, as first assumed. "After Mr. Moore swallowed the chicken, it ate through his stomach and consumed his liver," states the report. "That's usually fatal, and it was this time for sure." Read more!

Everyone laughs, even Ted

At Capitol Hill restaurant Citronelle, a toddler walked up to Senator Kennedy's table and stared at him. Kennedy asked the little boy if he was lost, and the tyke responded, "You're that leftwing cocksucker who ought to be horsewhipped, aren't you?" The lad was C-Span honcho Brian Lamb's grandson who was dining at a nearby table. Read more!

Barbara Boxer: "I am not the dumbest cunt on Capitol Hill"

Says "lots of people are dumber than me. Have you talked to Patty Murray? I'm just saying." Read more!

Good Humor Man Spat Upon By Everybody

"I can't understand why people, even kids, suddenly hate my guts" says ice cream vendor Willy Pascal. Read more!

Hillary: "I used to love inserting my tampon ...."

"... now, not so much." Read more!

Trent Lott "loses it." Kills everyone.

That's all. he killed everyone. Read more!

Monday, June 11, 2007

My Favorite Comedian - Brian Regan

Read more!

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Read more!

Monday, May 28, 2007

My Favorite Comedian - Brian Regan

Read more!

Brian Regan - My Favorite Comedian

Read more!

My Favorite Comedian - Brian Regan

Read more!

My Favorite Comedian - Brian Regan

Read more!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Meteor Hits Capitol Bldg. - Everyone Killed

News at 11 Read more!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


The 400th Simpson's Episode. One day only. Read more!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Everything is beautiful here

Via: Flixya
Write Me Read more!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Gov. O'Malley vandalized

Gov. O'Malley billboard defaced

Official: ” It's an improvement if you ask me
Apparently, somebody in Baltimore isn't a fan of Governor Martin O'Malley.

A large billboard welcoming tourists arriving for the Preakness has been defaced.

Robert Murrow, a spokesman for the city's Department of Public Works, saw the vandalism as he drove to work this morning on I-83 near the Guilford Avenue exit. He called The Sun, saying that someone had poured paint on the image of O'Malley's face.
"It looks like they took globs of paint and threw it on his face. It looks great. It did my heart good," said Murrow, who admittedly is not an O'Malley fan.

Kurt L. Kocher, chief spokesman for the city's Department of Public Works and Murrow's supervisor, took issue with Murrow's statement.  "I know how he feels, but we can never condone vandalism of any kind."  [FULL]
Read more!

Film Producer Michael Moore Dead

Hollywood.Film producer Michael Moore ate tainted fish at Spago's and died shortly after. Read more!

Introducing ..

You've heard of ... thought balloons, right? Well, this is a fart ballon.
Read more!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Keith Olbermann

Walks with his bitch du jour He can't lick his balls though. Read more!

Morning Vapors

Read more!

Monday, May 07, 2007

''Chunky Monkey Butcher'' Hanged

Dr. Howard Dean ...

... the Vermont obstetrician convicted of performing abortions was executed by hanging early this morning at the Northwest State Correctional Facility in Swanton.  Dean collapsed as he began the ascent up the gallows stairs, and was carried by prison officials.  After affixing the noose, he was revived and promptly hanged.  During his trial Dr. Dean was referred to as the ''Chunky Monkey Butcher'' after it was disclosed he once ate a pint of that flavor of ice cream after performing an abortion. Dean was 59.
Read more!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

League Bowling Champs

Bill Clinton, owner of the Woodbury Avenue Car Wash ...

is shown with Billie Joe Conrad (center) and Marshall Lee Rutherford (right), co-captains of the Wednesday Men's League ten-pin champs at Cliff's Bowl-O-Rama.

This is the third year out of the last five that Mr. Clinton has sponsored the  league's championship team. 

Read more!

Larry The Eagle

This is Larry the Eagle ...
He's one of several dozen bald eagles who keep our yard free of squirrels and other vermin.   I think they taste like chicken, so we have no reason to eat them. The Eagle, not the squirrels, although they taste like chicken too.

My friend Vilmar sent this link to an Eagle Cam just down the road.
Read more!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Hillary Rodham Opens Goodwill Store

Goodwill Industries marks the opening of their newest outlet with a traditional ribbon cutting ceremony. The Oak Park store will be managed by Miss Hillary Rodham, shown doing the honors. Store hours will be 9-5, M-F, and 10-2 on Saturday.
Miss Rodham was previously assistant office manager at Duzlac Realty in Norridge. Read more!

Friday, May 04, 2007


But, in your universe ...Judge Sues Cleaner for $65M Over Pants it. Read more!

A New Standard of Air Travel

Please contact me with problems
And that's Tourist Class! Read more!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Tenement Life

Can you find me? Read more!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Reality Bites

Happiness is being named Catholic Archbishop of Tehran. Happy for maybe 10 seconds.
End of post. Read more!

Wise crack

Read more!

Gunman Sentenced to Chair

His teacher read the roll that first day of school in 1957. Her somewhat sloppy pronunciation of "Chuck Ellis Schumer" caused the children in his first grade class to giggle, and forever tag him "Chuckles," a name he despised. Teachers and classmates recall that the sobriquet hardly described Charles Schumer. Not that he was dour, but he was prone to laugh at the misfortune of others. Third grade teacher Betty Horowitz recalls:

"Charles had a mean streak. He took joy in other's mistakes and tribulations ... seemed to draw strength from it. He was a bully, really. I thought of him as being a Harry Flashman, you know, the bully  from "Tom Brown's School Days." (click below to continue)

Schumer loved being the center of attention, and it was here that his bossy attitude was most evident.  During a school talent show,  he ran onto the stage after nearly every performance, proclaiming he could "do it better."  Mrs. Horowitz remembers that after a girl played the piano, an  instrument he had never had a lesson on, Chuckles pushed her aside and pounded out his cacophonous rendition of  " Heart and Soul."  "It was just awful, but Charles beamed afterwards,  as though he had proved his prowess. He was oblivious."

Chuckles Schumer Year Book PictureSchumer ran for class president every year while attending  James Madison High School, losing every election. He wasn't so much unpopular as he was considered an oddball by his classmates.  An oddball who loved the limelight.  Classmate Harry Rosen remembers an incident when yearbook pictures were being taken.

"We were all lined up in the gym, in alphabetical name order waiting our turn with the photographer.  All of a sudden Chuckles couldn't stand it, and ran to the front of the line.  Of course he scrambled the photographer's record keeping and, this is funny really, when the year book came out there was his picture listed as "Rhoda Kornblatz."  He was furious and petitioned for a reprinting of all the books. I think he even tried to get the ACLU to sue."

Chuck Schumer was shy around girls, but it was all he talked about with the few male friends he had. His father had a collection of pornographic playing cards, and Chuck would bring them to school, and try to get girls to look at them. After one told her parents, Chuckles was suspended for three days. Classmates interviewed for this story all remembered that Charles would often excuse himself during class so he could go to the bathroom and masturbate. He never had a date that anybody could remember, or attend any school dance.

After graduating from high school, Schumer held a number of jobs in Brooklyn, including selling waterless cookware, and running a sidewalk shell game.  He told people that he was a Harvard graduate, and held a law degree, but that the practice bored him.  In 1994 he took a job as a salesman at Shoe City, where this past March 14th his life intersected with Buleah Mae Riggs'. The 47 year-old Registered Nurse, and African American mother of five, was the customer from hell, all would later agree.

"Chuckles must have brought out twenty pair of shoes and each time she asked for something a little more delicate, or with more style, or a different color," recalled Shoe City manager Cliff Johnson.

Shumer snapped.  He came out of the back room with a pair of garish green and orange patent leather pumps and threw them at her. "Here, these are popular with all our (N-word) whores, I'm sure you'll love them."  Buleah Mae hurled them back at him, calling Schumer a "stupid Jew c--- sucker."  Chuckles produced a "Saturday Night Special" .38 caliber handgun and shot Buleah Mae in the forehead, killing her instantly.  Last week a jury found Schumer guilty of homicide.

Today Judge Sarah O'Reilly, who could have sentenced him to life in prison, instead ordered that he be put to death in the state's electric chair. She set an execution date of May 24, 2007.  Schumer's court appointed lawyer Barry Scheck said he has no plans to appeal the sentence.  "Hey, he did it.  He admitted he did it.  What can I do?'
Read more!

Ramar the Elephant boy ...

.... is now a man, and still single.

If you want all comments ... Read more!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Good News is, nobody will feel bad about this

Nah ... nothing after this. Click pic for bigger. And here is the rest of it. Read more!

Airy Stones

Read more!

Dump Truck Loses Dirt

Austin - A dump truck overturns, loses dirt.  [Video]
Nation's school children pray for driver's safety - "He's Okay!"
Steve Read more!

Health Tip

Read more!

From the Wires

  • House Speaker Newt Gingrich (D GA) today described President Coulter's budget as reasonable.
  • Senate Republicans vow to block Hawaii bid to become 49th State.
  • Dow Jones closes down at 26,863
  • Cal Thomas to head NBC News
  • Disney announces plans to rebuild Mecca as "Aladdin's Magic Kingdom" theme park.
Read more!

Reefer Madness - the Cause of Hippies

Via: Flixya
Thank the good lord we found out in time. Can you imagine what would happen if our children became a pack of dope-smoking hoodlums? Read more!

The young die good.

Read more!